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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23450824">Performance or: Great Minds Don't Always Think Alike</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucyInTheSkye/pseuds/LucyInTheSkye'>LucyInTheSkye</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sirius x Remus [33]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftercare, Banter, Body Worship, Boys Kissing, Come Eating, Coming In Pants, Deepthroating, Dirty Talk, Edgeplay, Facials, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Laughter During Sex, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Multiple Orgasms, Oral Fixation, Oral Sex, Pet Names, Porn with Feelings, Shame, Size Kink, Subdrop, Switching, Wet &amp; Messy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:20:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,737</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23450824</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucyInTheSkye/pseuds/LucyInTheSkye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>March 1980. A study in the finer points of comfort zones, oral sex and aftercare.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sirius x Remus [33]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1483745</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Performance or: Great Minds Don't Always Think Alike</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Good Merlin was he ready for it. So horny, so very needy, one word and one word only spinning around his head, speed dizzying, sending uncoordinated jolts of pleasure along his spine, shooting off the walls of his belly, his guts tightly wound and his mind so highly strung he was beginning to see fireworks in front of his eyes…</p><p>“Ah, there you are, dearest, I was already beginning to wonder if you’d turned in with a book. I’ve just remembered Marlene said she was hosting a knees-up at her new digs tonight. The theme is spectres and spacewomen; and dressing up is strongly recommended, which means she’ll dunk anyone who doesn’t do it in the toilet or force-feed you cooking oil or chilis or something. Will be great fun, don’t you think, and I reckon you’d make a marvellous ghost.”</p><p>“<em>Sirius</em>,” Remus croaked out, his voice hoarse from disuse but the word, his one word, still sounded exquisite to his, by-now, rather feverish mind.</p><p>Sirius gave him an appraising look that quickly turned into a smirk. He took a swift hold of his hips and pushed him against the table, and Remus promptly lost his balance and sat down on it with a thump. </p><p>“Are we feeling trapped, love?”</p><p>Remus looked down and saw what Sirius had found: the clear outline of his dick along his upper left thigh. </p><p>Remus sighed with greedy relief when Sirius made to touch it, but he was left sorely disappointed. Sirius stopped less than an inch from it, palm hovering just above, so close Remus thought he could feel heat radiating over his trapped erection. </p><p>Remus looked up confusedly and made a small, yearning noise. Sirius’s eyes were all mercurial tease as they bored into Remus’s, but Remus was too addled with arousal to really see his lover properly.</p><p>“Must be uncomfortable to have such a huge dick and nowhere for it to go. Can’t really keep it in your trousers, can you? Need to expose yourself or you’ll split a seam or make a right soggy mess of your clothes.”</p><p>Remus blushed and leant his head on Sirius’s shoulder, which meant he could watch his groin from a safe, warm spot, watch Sirius’s hand which was still right there and not touching him. Sirius hugged his back with his free arm, placed a kiss in his hair, then he began tracing the outline of Remus with a finger just grazing his trousers.</p><p>“Look at the size of you, it’s like something a wild, ferocious animal would have. My pretty little sex pest. We should measure you, shouldn’t we, and send the result to Guinness World Records. Bet they’d be interested.”</p><p>Remus thanked his lucky stars he had thought to hide his face before this started. It wasn’t fair, none of this was fair. He needed to come so badly.</p><p>“Look how it stretches all the way down your thigh, all the way here…”</p><p>Remus shivered; Sirius’s slow-moving finger was so close to his dickhead that he could feel the fabric of his trousers press firmly against him when Sirius traced the shape of his glans.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s a big boy. Such a big dick. Is this precum you’re leaking for me?”</p><p>Remus got increasingly red in his face, he could feel sweat on his forehead now, on his neck. Sirius kissed his hairline slowly, with tongue, all the while his finger moved in a tiny circle just where the tip of Remus’s penis was. The fabric was becoming darker and darker, small spot at first, but growing so big it was becoming hideously obvious. </p><p>“Dirty, horny, little darling. Massive dick leaking precum so that everyone can see how excited you are. You want everyone to see how big you are, don’t you, my easy, sex-hungry slut. No control at all.”</p><p>Remus closed his eyes but had to open them again almost immediately. Needed to see. Sirius’s other hand was stroking his back firmly along his spine and it was helping to send shock waves of pleasure up and down his body.</p><p>“Stiff, throbbing inches, needy fo attention and leaking all over the place.” Sirius traced his way back on the other side, making sure he only touched Remus’s thigh. “What about your balls? Are you making spunk for me? How full are they?”</p><p>Remus realized only then that he had been holding his hips forcibly still this entire time, and somehow it became ten times more difficult to not buck into Sirius’s hand when it moved with teasing languor in between his spread legs. Like a caress.</p><p>“Fuck, they feel massive, love. Packed with nasty, sticky spunk, aren’t they?”</p><p>Remus whined out loud and thrust out once before he could stop himself. He could feel in savage detail how Sirius played with one of his testicles, took it between thumb and forefinger and rolled it through his trousers. Then he cupped his palm and let Remus’s scrotum rest in his hand.</p><p>“Heavy with seed. So ready. If the wolf was here, he’d want to breed me, wouldn’t he? But now it’s just you and me, and I’m going to make you spill it all in your pants.”</p><p>Remus couldn’t watch anymore. Bright red cheeks, eyes tearing up from the humiliation, he pushed his face all the way into Sirius’s neck and hair while he lost control. Sirius rubbed him hard over his balls, then moved over to his dick and stroked it for the duration of the orgasm. It lasted a long time, too, Remus’s body wracked with sobs and deliciously all-encompassing pleasure. </p><p>Sirius planted a final kiss on his head when his body had quietened down and his moans turned soft and befuddled. Remus opened his eyes through sticky eyelashes and watched his lover get down on the floor in front of him, turning immediately towards his left leg.</p><p>“Fuck, that’s a lot of come, love. Imagine that on my face.”</p><p>Remus smiled and stroked his lover’s stubbly cheek. Sirius bent down over the large stain covering Remus’s thigh and licked the soaked fabric, tongue eager like a dog’s. </p><p>“Mmm,” Remus got out, gathered some of Sirius’s beautiful silky hair in his fist and pressed his face down. Sirius rubbed it all over with his help, mouth lolling open until he was sniggering too much to be able to continue. Remus petted his head instead, felt the glossy smooth texture, remembered how satisfying it both felt and looked when there were fresh ribbons of semen amongst the black waves. Sirius collected himself and used his teeth to gently gnaw along Remus’s soft, come-soaked and still regrettably trapped dick. </p><p>“Yeah, I like that,” Remus said quietly and then had to close his eyes when the pleasure mounted. Sirius had taken a bit of fabric between his teeth, inadvertently getting some foreskin at the same time.</p><p>“You should lick me clean,” Remus muttered. He could feel his forehead set into deep lines from how tortuously pleasurable this was. Bit of sharp pain with his pleasure.</p><p>Sirius released him and Remus groaned and opened his eyes, watched his lover move all the way in between his legs and stick his face into his groin, rub against his balls, freeze with them in his face and draw a deep breath.</p><p>“Getting off on my smelly balls?”</p><p>Remus could see that Sirius had a hand between his legs and he could certainly both hear and feel the rich moan Sirius exhaled into his balls.</p><p>Remus opened the button to his trousers, then watched his lover take the zip between his teeth and slowly move down, glittering grey eyes on Remus.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s it,” Remus praised him, saw that Sirius’s eyes were becoming heavy-lidded with arousal. “You’re better trained than most dogs, you know.”</p><p>After that Sirius pulled the zip down with increasing difficulty because he was cracking up again. Remus smiled too, then had to cup Sirius’s face in his hands and bend down and kiss him. Sirius was still laughing, and exhaled tickling puffs of air into Remus’s mouth. Sirius tongue tasted of come but Remus found himself almost savouring the flavour, safe in the knowledge that this wasn’t bad yet, that they were just getting started. There would be plenty more where that had come from.</p><p>They both helped getting Remus’s trousers and pants all the way off along with his socks. Remus got a good look at his lover and saw that his erect dick was poking out of his jeans. It gave Remus a rush of accomplishment, especially as Sirius immediately dived back between his bared legs, licking all over most excitably. He was certainly getting off on this.  </p><p>“Good mouth,” Remus said quietly, “good dog.”</p><p>Sirius sent him another look, half amused and half turned on, then he nosed his way across the length of Remus’s dick, encountering the drying come stains all over Remus’s thigh. He licked and licked, eyes closing occasionally as though he was quite desperate to savour every individual drop. Eventually he laid down the side of his face on Remus's thigh and sighed proudly.</p><p>“You’re ridiculously big even when you’re soft,” Sirius told his dick, staring intently into the agitated little slit at the head.</p><p>Remus blushed while he watched the interaction; he wasn’t quite soft anymore, but he supposed that the observation about his size did still apply. He followed how Sirius stuck his tongue out and exactly pricked the slit with the tip of his tongue. </p><p>“More cleaning, less nattering about,” Remus said, trying on a stern voice that probably failed spectacularly. Sirius bit his lip to stop himself from laughing, then leant closer and kissed the tip of Remus’s dick. Remus sighed and took a hold of his rapidly stiffening shaft, held his cock more firmly to Sirius’s spit-slick lips, held the back of Sirius’s head with his other hand, helped press them together.</p><p>“Mmm, so nice, you’re so dirty,” Remus whispered. Sirius’s eyes were blissfully closed while he kissed and kissed, and if it had started with an innocent peck then by now it had turned into the filthiest of French kisses, sloppy tongue over shiny pink glans and fresh precum dripping over Sirius’s bottom lip.</p><p>“Fuck, I’m gonna have to… You’re going to make me come all over…”</p><p>Remus rubbed his shaft, held Sirius’s face as steady as he could and let the visual push him over the edge. He got creamy white all over Sirius’s tongue, got sticky ropes all over his cheek and ear and into his hair. </p><p>“You’re so dirty,” Remus told him contentedly, heartrate slowing down while he continued to hold Sirius’s soft hair in one hand, his own softening prick in the other. Sirius grinned mischievously and Remus took that as a sign to trace his lover’s stretched, red lips with the tip of his dick, soreness be damned, rubbing the last drops of come into them like lip gloss. They got very shiny, especially when Sirius purposefully let some of the spunk he had collected on his tongue dribble out of his mouth. Remus caught it on his dick and pushed it back into Sirius’s all-too willing mouth. </p><p>Sirius moaned and swallowed and sucked some more on him, leaving Remus trembling with overexertion and skin hot from how immensely aroused he remained. </p><p>“Let’s get you naked,” Remus suggested reluctantly, still enamoured by how Sirius suckled on his half-hard length like he knew there was still more to be had, like he could never truly be sated. If he twisted his neck he could see Sirius’s pink, turgid dick still peeking out from his torn black jeans. “Let’s get you nice and naked.”</p><p>Sirius let his dick go with a vulgar, slurping noise, but then apparently had to lean back and kiss the soft wet head some more. Remus found himself continuing to stroke his lover’s silken mane of hair, eyes glued to how lovingly Sirius’s lips kept skimming his dickhead. </p><p>“You really like that, don’t you?”</p><p>Sirius finally stopped and looked up with a fresh grin on his face.</p><p>“Have I made it too obvious?”</p><p>“Just a little,” Remus said, helping Sirius stand up, watched him stretch his body and shake out his legs. His freed cock bounced merrily between his legs. “You could say that the fact that you’ve sucked me off every day for the last ten months has left me with an inkling.”</p><p>“Clearly not as stupid as you look,” Sirius commented agreeably, then ducked quick as a flash when Remus attempted to hit him with the shirt he had just removed from his back.</p><p>“Get naked right now or I’ll blow my next load all over your pretty hair!”</p><p>“Is that supposed to be a threat?” Sirius asked; he was still laughing.</p><p>“I’ll sit on your face and make you lick my arsehole,” Remus said, stumbling only a little over the most vulgar of the words.</p><p>“Yes please,” Sirius said happily, and Remus had a feeling that he was supposed to point out that this wasn’t how threatening someone worked. But then Sirius pulled his shirt over his head and Remus found himself sucking in a lungful of air and watching how that beautiful creamy skin moved over well-developed muscles, how the pierced nipple gleamed and how the ink added a much-needed layer of attitude to the pure masculine beauty ideal that otherwise would have been Sirius’s body.</p><p>“God you’re beautiful.”</p><p>“As in I <em>am</em> god, or..?”</p><p>Sirius had to jump on one leg while he tried to take his skinny jeans off, and his buoyant cock looked funny enough that Remus smiled rather than scowled.</p><p>“I’ll give you a handjob and we can see how graceful and godlike you really are.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Sirius threw his jeans over the sofa and took in Remus’s form, now completely nude and still leaning against the kitchen table. He licked his lips.</p><p>“Come here.”</p><p>Sirius pranced over to him like a model on a catwalk, and Remus felt his hunger mount as he watched his lover’s hips swing. </p><p>“Slut,” Remus told him and hauled him in. Sirius gave him a filthy wet kiss and Remus spat back into it, dirty come everywhere but that was how his lover liked it.</p><p>“Sluttiest god you’ll ever see,” Sirius whispered against his lips. “Touch me.”</p><p>“Yeah…” Remus took his dick in hand and smiled when Sirius threw his head back and moaned. “Beautiful slut.”</p><p>Remus watched him contentedly, even though he was the one wanking Sirius off it was definitely Sirius who was performing for him. The moans that filled Remus’s ears were so explicit that even after ten months of familiarization they made him blush and squirm, and they certainly made his dick stir. Sirius had pushed his arms behind his head and it stretched his chest and arm muscles magnificently. Remus alternated between watching them and watching his lover’s pretty pink cock, warm and pulsing in his hand. He could tell that they were getting close now and he upped his pace, pressed a little harder to make it good.</p><p>Sirius moaned wantonly and stepped closer, leant in and placed sloppy, ticklish kisses all along Remus’s neck. They were both moaning by the time Sirius came, they both looked down and watched the white spurts across Remus’s half-hard cock, painting it until it was dripping with it.</p><p>Sirius gave Remus a messy kiss on his mouth, then he sank down on his knees again. Remus’s cock twitched when he heard the noise of Sirius’s knees hitting the floor.</p><p>“Dirty slut,” Remus whispered, colour rising on his cheeks again, shyly admiring how good his lover looked on his knees with his mouth open. “Hungry for your own come, aren’t you?”</p><p>“I’ll lap it all up like a good doggy slut,” Sirius assured him before he nuzzled in. Remus took a guilty, eager hold of his half-hard shaft and slapped it against Sirius’s face. The come flew and splattered into new patterns and Remus grew harder and harder before Sirius took over and swallowed him whole.</p><p>“Ah,” Remus got out, although he really had no excuse to feel surprise anymore. Perhaps the part of him that told him this was too good to be true and that he was bound to wake up soon was jealous of all Remus was getting. </p><p>Sirius moaned cheerfully around him, meaning Remus’s sensitive cockhead got stuck between exquisite vibrations in his soft throat and Remus spent seconds seeing stars, then the rest of the time watching his own, personal star. Sirius’s eyes were becoming a little moist and bloodshot, but still perfectly divine to behold. And glazed over as they were with their owner’s arousal; Remus couldn’t feel guilty about doing this anymore. It couldn’t be wrong if Sirius got off on it.</p><p>He wasn’t sure how he ended up fucking Sirius’s throat again, but soon he was thrusting in a way he would previously have found unsafe and violent, holding Sirius’s head steady and pounding into his open throat, spit flying from his gaping mouth. Sirius held onto his thighs to keep steady. Remus was floating so high he barely heard the disgusting noises coming from deep within his lover, the gagging and the dry-heaving and the aborted, desperate intakes of breath. He only pulled out when he started to come, and Sirius bowed his head accommodatingly and let him spill it over his forehead and hair. </p><p>“Mmm… So nice – are you ok?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Sirius was breathing hard when he stood back up and Remus couldn’t resist giving his knees a glance to see how bruised they were, then check out his wet, messy mouth. </p><p>“So used,” Remus muttered, bringing a hand out and spreading the thick spit and semen around his lover’s face. Sirius made a throaty noise and Remus pushed his come-slick thumb inside, pressed into the soft tongue that met it. Sirius wrapped his lips around it and sucked, and Remus leant closer and closer, smelling the come, watching his lover’s beautiful eyes, his sexy mouth moving around him. </p><p>He eventually pulled out, whilst still watching his lover’s every move, his every facial expression. Sirius’s eyes had returned to their teasing, arrogant selves again and Remus saw them flicker down to his mouth, then back up to meet Remus’s eyes. Challenging him, no doubt.</p><p>“Fuck it.”</p><p>Remus took a handful of Sirius’s hair and pressed their mouths together, forced himself to open wide and taste it all. It was never as bad as he expected it to be, but that didn’t mean he liked it.</p><p>“Mmm…” Sirius was moaning into his mouth, and when Remus opened his eyes mid-kiss he saw that Sirius’s were closed, fluttering lightly as though he was experiencing the most exquisite of pleasures. Remus stopped pulling his hair and cradled his head instead, felt the soft warm feeling spread outward from his tummy, into every limb and into his head. Sirius pushed up against him, and Remus, both to his chagrin and delight, realized he had gotten hard again.</p><p>“You want another one, Sirius?”</p><p>Sirius attempted to kiss him even when he spoke and Remus grinned happily into his open wet mouth. Sirius was up for it every day, but he was all human unlike Remus, which apparently meant that an unlimited number of erections every day was not an option. Two in a row did not happen all that often.</p><p>Remus fondled him gently between his legs, although he already knew what he must do. It was only fair, he told himself, because that had been no lie; Remus did get head every single day. It didn’t matter who liked performing what, he told himself, what mattered was that Sirius liked receiving this, even if he never asked for it. And he never asked because, well… Remus swallowed audibly, then steeled his mind and bent his knees. </p><p>It was awkward, always so hellishly awkward. Remus tried to ignore the pain in his knees and put a hand on Sirius’s thigh instead and looked up. Sirius was smiling ever so sweetly at him from above, head tilted to the side as though contemplating something rather special. Remus blushed a bright red and had to look away.</p><p>“Maybe hold my hand, yeah?” Sirius’s voice was wrecked from taking it for too long and too deep. Remus got even more embarrassed, although he hesitatingly raised his hand and let Sirius take it in his. Warm and smooth.</p><p>There was nothing else for it, not unless he wanted to worry Sirius, make him think that he wasn’t doing this voluntarily. He had to get going. </p><p>Remus shuffled a little closer, getting eye to eye with Sirius’s dick. The little slit was oozing precum and Remus forced down the bad thoughts, tried to look at it not as something distasteful but rather as something that was integral to the man he loved, something that gave him pleasure. Something that gave Remus pleasure, too, on the occasions when it fucked into his arse. </p><p>Remus gave the head a bold lick, got pre-ejaculate over his tongue. Before he had it all figured out, Sirius had bent down and kissed his tongue, sucked it into his mouth, then taken Remus’s chin in his free hand and pushed their open mouths firmly together. He moaned in a way that resounded all round Remus’s head, too, and Remus felt a bit better when he was released, when his lover straightened up and warmly squeezed his hand.</p><p>“Mmm…” Remus tried again, sucked the head into his mouth, sucked gently but rhythmically on it. Sirius’s dick, Sirius’s handsome, not scary, completely normal-sized dick. Not too smelly today, although it didn’t exactly taste clean… Just a dick, and it wasn’t wrong or degrading to do this. Sirius would still like him even after he had had a cock in his mouth, in fact it was quite possible that Sirius would like him even more, and specifically because he had had a cock in his mouth. Remus wasn’t ruining himself by doing this, wouldn’t be despised or shamed, he would still be loved, still be cherished, even.</p><p>“You’re so gorgeous, sweetheart. Just like that, you’re so good to me. Feels very nice, and you’re beautiful like this, your mouth and your cheeks…”</p><p>Remus looked up, met his lover’s eyes.</p><p>“Oh fuck me,” Sirius whispered, his eyes veritably burning with the heat of his passion. Or was it compassion? Remus stared back and moaned softly for him, his dick an unforgiving, weird slab of meat across his tongue, weighing him down. </p><p>“Your eyes are out of this world, darling. The blue in them, like precious stones swimming in molten gold. And you, you’re in there, I can see you, all of you, right in there. I love you so much, Remus.”</p><p>Remus braved a bit more dick in his mouth. Slick, squishy, hard. Throbbing with disquieting warmth, but it was all Sirius. No stranger than his hands or his shoulders or his lips, Remus told himself. He had done this before, after all, and it had never been strictly bad, had it? A bit gross, but nothing he couldn’t power through. No reason why it should be so bad today. Sirius would still love him after. He sucked a bit harder, moved up and down, up and down, lips rubbing against Sirius’s thick, throbbing length. Sirius knitted their fingers together and squeezed.</p><p>“I’m coming, love, god you’re so beautiful, your pretty face…”</p><p>Remus felt it splash over his lips when he pulled off, forced himself to stay quite still while it wet the side of his face. So this was what it was like. He couldn’t look at Sirius, he felt too ashamed.</p><p>“Fuck…” Sirius sank down to the floor with him, but Remus couldn’t bring himself to look up. A sort of uneasy calm had settled over him, and he didn’t really feel anything but empty anymore.</p><p>He felt Sirius take his hand in his again and squeeze it. He could feel heat edging closer to him, knew it meant Sirius was leaning in. An excruciatingly soft hand brushed away a few unruly curls from the side of his face, then Sirius moved in and began lapping up the come from Remus’s cheek. Remus sat quite still, and he found it difficult to react when Sirius gave a gentle press to his hand, when he gave Remus’s neck a soft caress, even when his lips found Remus’s and he was kissed with hitherto unheard-of gentleness.</p><p>“We’ll be late for the party,” Remus said slowly. He could feel Sirius still, an inch or two from his face.</p><p>“We’re staying in for now,” Sirius said. He put his free hand on Remus’s waist and began caressing that, too. </p><p>“Hmm?” Remus said, then tried to swallow. There was something thick and uncomfortable in his throat.</p><p>“We need to cuddle a bit first.”</p><p>“Hmm,” Remus said. He was quiet for quite some time, empty at first but with a mounting sense of confusion. A sense that he had missed something, maybe even that something had gone wrong. He could feel the warmth from Sirius’s hand, suddenly.</p><p>Sirius leant in and kissed his cheek again, although the spunk was already long gone and had joined the rest in Sirius’s belly. All gone.</p><p>“Don’t have to right now, do we? We could cuddle tonight instead? If we ever make our way home, of course.” Remus was suddenly back to talking and he frowned and tried to remember. “Last time she threw a party we all ended up sleeping on the floor, didn’t we? Didn’t Fabian tear down her curtains so that we’d all have a blanket? All ten of us…”</p><p>Sirius smiled guardedly, as though there was something a bit off with him. Remus wracked his brains, then he remembered that that had happened before the war. Before things went from bad to worse, before people started dying.</p><p>“You need a bit of aftercare, yeah?”</p><p>“I – No, I mean, not unless you do, I reckon.” While Remus spoke, he realized that it was quite possible he was lying. He gave Sirius a sharp look from underneath his fringe. Sirius had dried come and spit all over his face, his hair was matted with more of the same and his throat still sounded iffy. So why on earth would Remus be the one needing aftercare?</p><p>“I think you do,” Sirius said with a warm, uncommonly tender smile. “I think you need to sit in a nice bubble bath with me and the ducks and listen to me telling you about my favourite freckles while I soap up your hair.</p><p>“I’m not the one with old spunk in my hair,” Remus said loftily, and in truth he was feeling better already. Something soft and ticklish and warm was settling in his lower belly and he found himself shivering pleasurably at the thought of Sirius’s fingers massaging his scalp, maybe the rest of his body, too. “Only if you promise to protect me from the ducks,” Remus said, acknowledging his abrupt change of mind with his head held high, “I’m convinced the red one tried to bite me two days ago.”</p><p>Sirius’s face split into a broad grin.</p><p>“I’ll use such a dashing freezing charm that the pesky little rubber knobheads won’t know what hit them, and you’ll be left marvelling at your boyfriend’s prowess.”</p><p>“I’ll be left marvelling at your use of a charm Flitwick taught us in second year?” Remus asked sceptically, all the while trying his hardest not to crack up.</p><p>“I’m a strong, devilishly skilled man who’ll protect you from any rubber-based monster, tonight and every night.”</p><p>“Speaking of tonight, you’ll probably want to be wearing your fancy, pink lacy knickers,” Remus said with a grin. “Underneath the spacesuit. They really add a layer of gender-neutrality to your manhood, you know. If Marlene has asked for spacewomen specifically it means she’ll be thorough with her costume appraisal, and you wouldn’t want to get your pretty, manly mane of hair dunked in a toilet, would you?”</p><p>“Good point,” Sirius said, leaning back in and tickling Remus all over his soft, sensitive belly, “although there’s no need to make up reasons for me to wear them. I’ll do anything for you, not just fight off teething rubber ducks.”</p><p>Remus stopped squealing and writhing and initiated a long, passionate kiss instead.</p>
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